Summer Movie Suicide Mission No. 19: Meet Dave

In which one man attempts to view every summer blockbuster for the entire season, regardless of taste, genre, or human-shaped spaceships that shit hot dogs.

On a Monday afternoon, myself and a couple of teenagers entered the theater to see Meet Dave. I spent the duration of the film lamenting the fate of late period Eddie Murphy; the teens spent the time drinking clandestine beers in the dark. I’d say they had the better end of the deal.

Ever since The Nutty Professor remake, Murphy has been on a downward spiral. I haven’t seen enough of his films over the past decade or so to say with absolute confidence that Meet Dave is the worst of the lot, but I can venture a pretty good guess. At any rate, Meet Dave hasn’t given me a reason to check out any of those other movies. Ever.

So what happened to the Eddie Murphy of Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, et al.? Has he tried too much to play to a family audience, becoming bland and inoffensive (and unfunny) in the process? Has he immersed himself into too many trite star vehicles, refusing to take any risks?

Of course, that much is true, but the real problem is more fundamental than that. Murphy has completely lost his sense of comedic timing. From his standup, through Saturday Night Live, to his early years as a major film star, Murphy was sharp as a tack. His reactions, and his knowing smirks, were delivered impeccably, his laugh lines were natural, solicitous even, making even the silliest jokes riotously funny. In Meet Dave, Murphy made me laugh exactly once, but that one joke was delivered so perfectly it left me wondering why he can’t pull off that trick more often.

Searching for the reason, though, is kind of futile. You never can tell where the talent goes. Other comedic actors, and Murphy contemporaries like Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd have lost the funny over the years, too, for whatever reason. Murphy, however, gets to keep making movies. The others don’t. And it’s not like any of Murphy’s non-Shrek films of late have been anything but colossal bombs. He keeps getting the chance, and keeps failing.

In Meet Dave, Murphy’s persona (or, rather, both of them, as he plays two parts, which is actually less than usual for him) is fundamentally annoying. He plays the captain of a spaceship from the planet Nil (which I think is supposed to be a joke, but I don’t get it), who speaks in a generic voice devoid of any emotion. The spaceship itself is designed in its captain’s image, and interacts (in Murphy’s voice) completely unnaturally, despite the fact that the humanoid miniatures who comprise its crew have verbal interactions that are recognizably human.

Unfortunately, Murphy drags a pretty good supporting cast down with him. Ed Helms plays Murphy’s first mate, and can’t play anything but annoyed throughout the whole film. Probably, Helms was frustrated himself that his agent signed him up for this movie. Elizabeth Banks, who’s hilarious when the script allows it, as in films like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, plays a major part here, yet still doesn’t have anything much to do. Judah Friedlander shows up and does a boring version of his signature goof character. Gabrielle Union, who’s beautiful and endearing but pretty one note, plays Murphy’s love interest and shows why she doesn’t have any crossover appeal outside of things like Eddie Murphy movies.

The Nillians (still don’t get the joke) have landed on earth to steal the world’s water supply to save their own planet. Yet they become so infatuated with Earthlings that they can’t bring themselves to do it. It’s a shame their civilization will have to die, though it at least guarantees there won’t be a Meet Dave 2.

Film: Meet Dave
Director: Brian Robbins
Stars: Eddie Murphy, Elizabeth Banks, Scott Caan, Ed Helms, Gabrielle Union, Mike O’Malley, Judah Friedlander

Viewing Situation: Weekday matinee, me, drunk teens; standard projection
Rotten Tomatoes Average: 21%
My Grade (Out of 10): 1

Next Up: Mamma Mia!