mentos and manatees

In which one man attempts to view every summer blockbuster for the entire season, regardless of taste, genre, or obvious suckitude.

Another summer movie season has been thrust upon us, the opening salvo having been fired by last week’s Iron Man (which, incidentally, looks totally awesome). Dozens more will follow — some entertaining, some not, but all disposable. This year, I plan to see every movie churned out by the dirty Hollywood sausage factory between May and August, 2008.

Perhaps I’m betraying my goal a bit. This is a genuinely exciting project. More than anything other than perhaps huge televised events, the summer blockbuster is society’s great shared cultural product. Billions of dollars will be spent at the box office and the entire industry will plan the film schedule for the following years based on what succeeds and what fails in the summer. During the blockbuster season, there are no niche markets — few independent or genre features are even released, let alone become successful — and the cinema becomes more of a spectacle than it already is. Summer movies are rarely the best films, but for the industry, and the general public who gladly shell out the billions, they are the most important.

On its face anyway, seeing all these films feels a bit populist; I’m throwing my lot in with the huddled masses. But, really, I just like going to the movies. In the midst of all the bombast, I find it hard to believe that any of these movies could be completely disappointing. The whole idea of the blockbuster is to throw in a little something for everyone. Mostly I just want to experience it all for myself, without hiding behind critical reviews and hearsay. Everyone is entitled to his opinion; when making mine, I’ll let the text speak for itself. I’ll write about every movie, and my thoughts on the ongoing project, in this space.

Rules and a full list of movies after the jump.

With this in mind, a few ground rules for the project:

1. I will see every major studio picture released between May 1, 2008 and August 30, 2008, excepting sequels to which i have not seen the original (this excludes Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor).
2. Independent, art house and foreign films are excluded.
3. To be eligible, a movie must play in the immediate Athens, Georgia area, though I don’t see this being much of a problem.
4. Whenever possible, films are to be viewed during the week of their initial release.
5. Reviews can be consulted for reference, both before and after screening, though review aggregate data from sites like Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic are to be avoided until after seeing a film.
6. Promotional materials such as trailers and talk show appearances are to be actively avoided.
7. If it comes to my attention that any movie fitting the criteria is missing from my list, it will be added, and seen.

The master list, sorted by release date:

Currently playing
Iron Man (May 2)
Speed Racer (May 9)
What Happens in Vegas… (May 9)

May
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (May 16)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22)
Sex and the City (May 30)
The Strangers (May 30)

June
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (June 6)
Kung Fu Panda (June 6)
The Happening (June 13)
The Incredible Hulk (June 13)
Get Smart (June 20)
The Love Guru (June 20)
WALL-E (June 27)
Wanted (June 27)

July
Hancock (July 2)
The Dark Knight (July 11)
Meet Dave (July 11)
Journey to the Center of The Earth 3D (July 11)
Mamma Mia! (July 18 )
The Longshots (July 25)
Step Brothers (July 25)
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (July 25)

August
The Midnight Meat Train (August 1)
The Rocker (August 1)
Pineapple Express (August 8 )
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (August 15)
Tropic Thunder (August 15)
Bangkok Dangerous (August 22)
The House Bunny (August 22)
The Accidental Husband (August 22)
Babylon A.D. (August 29)
College (August 29)

That’s 33 movies in four months. Wish me luck. And see you at the picture show.